Ася (huli_tam) wrote,
Ася
huli_tam

I tingle when I squirt

“Dutch sounds like nothing so much as a peculiar version of English (…) We would be walking down the street when a stranger would step from the shadows and say ‘Hello, sailors, care to grease my flanks?’’ or something, and all he would want was a light for his cigarette. It was disconcerting. I found this again when I presented myself at a small hotel on Prinsengracht and asked the kind-faced proprietor if he had a single room. ‘Oh, I don’t believe so’, he said (in English), ‘but let me check with my wife.’ He thrust his head through a doorway of beaded curtains and called, ‘Marta, what stirs in your leggings? Are you most moist?’ From the back a voice bellowed, ‘No, but I tingle when I squirt.’ ‘Are you of assorted odours?’ ‘Yes, of beans and sputum.’ ‘And what of your pits – do they exude sweetness?’ ‘Truly.’ ‘Shall I suck them at eventide?’ ‘Most heartily!’ He returned to me wearing a sad look: ‘I’m sorry, I thought there might have been a cancellation, but unfortunately not.’ “

From: Bill Bryson. Neither Here Nor There. Travels in Europe.

Tags: чтение, языки
Subscribe

  • (no subject)

    Дорогой коллективный разум, я к тебе за рекомендациями. Если вы пишете заметку о каком-то соцопросе -- ну, скажем, людей спрашивают, молоко какой…

  • ***

    Христі Лещук Стільки барв, скільки оком поглину: ртутне сяйво нічного полину, жовтий м'яч, найжовтіший за мить до стрибка, і іржа розкішна,…

  • ***

    Weary October light lingering on a warm red brick wall, royally overpinned by multitudes of ivy that ripple and swarm -- a vertical ocean stirred by…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

  • 0 comments